Sunday Stories - Bob's Story, Part 1

I was born and raised in Miami, Florida, an only child, feeling different and that I never had enough. My parents were both immigrants to this country; my mother is from Seoul, Korea and my father from Heidelberg, Germany. Growing up I was a straight A student and was told that B's were for bums. I was held to an ideal of perfection and this unrealistic expectation became ingrained from childhood. As an adolescent growing up and in school I can remember feeling different and getting teased because my eyes were not as round as yours. I have no brothers or sisters and grew up in an upper middle class family and never wanted for anything materially. I can remember being alone a lot and not having my emotional needs met by my peers or my parents. My parents witnessed this and over-compensated by buying me anything and everything that I wanted. No matter how many toys I had, it was never enough. I stole toys from other children in the neighborhood if they had something that I wanted or did not have. I had established a sense of entitlement from very early on. I was developing all of the traits of the King Baby personality (Hazelden, 1986).

'His majesty, the Baby' was first introduced to drugs at the age of seven. I wanted to be accepted by my peers in the neighborhood, and they were in junior high, and smoking marijuana. This was my first introduction to drugs, and the feeling I remember more than anything else was acceptance. I was finally a part of, I liked it and I sought out approval seeking behaviors and became a people please. I had become a daily drug user in early adolescence and crippled myself emotionally. I never learned how to feel or to deal with difficult emotions. I learned from very early on that if I use this, that does not look or feel so bad. Drugs had become a solution from a very early age and I needed them in my life to make me feel better. So, I had to learn how to have them at all times and I started selling marijuana. Once engaged in this behavior, people treated me differently again. They were nice to me because I had something they wanted, I once again felt accepted. Character defects like power, control and manipulation really took hold and were given an opportunity to thrive. This behavior continued until the age of sixteen when I was arrested for the first of many felony possessions of marijuana charges. My parents stepped in, hired the best attorney money could buy, because I was entitled to that, and I went to rehab for the first of six treatment episodes.