Sunday Stories - Summer's Story - the Final Chapter

Summer here, One last time to tell my story.  So I left the treatment house thingy and I went back to my old life. That's what they mean by hopeless state of mind and body. I was of the hopeless variety. I was living to drink. I was just trying to survive my disease and all the  consequences that come with it. I found another state to run to. I took another  hostage. Got another DUI.  They ran from me. Then I picked up a possession charge for cocaine. Went back to jail, Got out. That's pretty much my life - go to jail, get out, go to jail, get out. I managed to get a little rental room. Of course I drank my money up. I was so depressed! I didn't care what happened to me anyway. I got a little painting job and from there actually made a couple friends. God I was short on those.

We all got a job on a crew painting in Tampa. Restoring a 4 star historical Hotel. We got free rooms and 2 meals a day. Plus cash each week for painting. That a great gig for anyone, but me, it was Breathe itself. Food, money and shelter.  Three things I seemed to have a tough time providing myself with.

I learned to paint, a skill I would take into my sobriety. Of Course I lost that job too. I found a Martini Bar and drug  neighborhood all in the same weekend.

I Finally just gave up. Homeless again. I just simply could not get back up and stay afloat. Life was running through my fingers like water or like alcohol I should say.

I'm not trying to be all dramatic and stuff. But #$%@%# it was so painful all the time and no breaks. No more catching my breathe. Sitting on the curb with a half a can of beer, no friends, no money, no where to go, and terrified!  How am i gonna get a drink? Merciful God please kill me. I gave up all hope for myself.. I didn't know it at that moment but I was about to receive a gift. 

I finally called my poor parents in  Ft Myers. I  caught a bus . Detoxed and finally went to an AA meeting. I walked into the building broken and scared and sat down in a plastic chair, to a new meeting for newcomers. They were on Step One. All I wanted to do was drink. I didn't know that I was suffering from an obsession beyond my mental control. Or that when I took a drink my body was made different than normal people and that gave me a craving for more liquor. I didn't think I could get sober. But I had nowhere else to go. I hung around until I could think of a new plan. So I did what they told me and something happened to me. I took those 12 steps in that book and I changed! I actually changed!  

My obsession to drink was removed by my Higher Power. Remember the gift I told you about!  That was it. That was 11 years ago. I haven't had a drink since. I wish this wasn't just a blog. I got all kinds of great stories in recovery to tell you. I am here to say one last thing.  

The 12 steps work. Give up the fight and join us.

Get off the road of pain and on  the road to healing. Thanks for reading.

Love Summer.

Thanks for sharing your story Summer!! Next month we will feature a story from another women in recovery - stay tuned!  I you have a story  - we would love to hear it! Just contact us through the link to the right.