Quick review:
Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable.Step 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.Step 4 - We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Now for Step 5 - Admit to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
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This is often the most difficult step for a person to take! We don't like to admit our 'stuff' to ourselves let alone to someone else. Admitting it to God isn't so bad, because he probably knows anyway. Some try to skip this step. We have learned from experience that we cannot live alone with the thoughts of the very things that almost killed us. We have to talk to somebody about them - ALL of them!!
So, who do you tell? In recovery, we call that person your sponsor. That person has worked the steps and has more recovery under their belt than you do. Someone to guide you through the steps of recovery. If you were going to build a house, wouldn't you want help from someone who has done it before? That's what a sponsor is - someone who has 'been there, done that'! A sponsor can share their experience, strength and hope. Another addict that is willing to share their journey through recovery with you.
What a sponsor is NOT a dumping ground, therapist, counselor, social worker, parent, financial adviser, or legal adviser.
Sponsors and sponsees often go to meetings together, and participate in activities with others in recovery. Some people choose a sponsor that belongs to the same religious organization that they do. Some people with no religious connections still choose a clergy member. Others have chosen a doctor or psychologist. Remember, you are going to disclose all of your inventory from step 4, so be careful not to choose a friend or family member that might be hurt or unhappy with that information.
Look for a sponsor that has similar experiences as you. Someone you are comfortable with. Look for someone who, when you see them, you think to yourself 'I want what she has'. The last step in finding a sponsor is to ASK! No one is going to come up to you and say 'Hey, you look like you need a sponsor'. Do NOT be offended or hurt if when you finally ask someone, they say no. It's not personal. Sponsors often have more than one sponsee, plus lives of their own. They will not agree to another sponsee if they cannot provide you with ample time and energy and being honest about that is good for you! You don't want to be in the position of needing to talk with your sponsor and them being too busy!
Most importantly, it has been shown that -
So, take a look around and find someone to talk to. Someone to work the steps with. Ask them to be your sponsor.
Next week, are you leading a double life?
We definitely need a sponsor for Step 5 but I would recommend having one before starting step 4. Don't do your inventory without a sponsor.
ReplyDeleteI think the part that is really very important to remember is that you just need to ask....no one is going to come up to you and say...you need a sponsor!
ReplyDelete